I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
