my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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