3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yo dont text me then not text me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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