Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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