Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
