i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
