An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
