Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
