I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
