is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
