the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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