bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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