I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize