i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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