i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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