you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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