Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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