sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
