Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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