yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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