OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
