So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
a search helicopter?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
