I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry my hands just texted you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
