I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
BRING THE BAGELS
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
