oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
