dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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