I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
