yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
