Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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