she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
now i know why i became what i already was.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
