And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
