i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
