small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
