My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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