Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
