I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
