which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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