Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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