He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize