I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
