The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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