But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
