I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
