how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
