i can't believe i had my finger in that
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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