she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
