Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
