During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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