so explain again why im purple
no
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
