Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
