On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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