Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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