Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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