Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
