Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
