I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
