DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
