Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
